Sarah McDuling, Booktopia’s resident Game of Thrones lover and spoiler enthusiast, recaps Episode 1 of the brand new season…
Game of Thrones is back for the last season!
The first episode is basically 60 minutes of set up for what is obviously going to be some epic storytelling. But be warned… HERE BE SPOILERS.
This whole recap is a giant spoiler so if you don’t want to be spoiled then get out now, while you still can!
Still here? Okay cool let’s get down to business…
We open in Winterfell (and Bran is still super weird)…
A massive army of Unsullied and Dothraki is marching into town. Our girl Arya is watching from the crowd, and then suddenly dragons are soaring through the sky and terrifying everyone… except Daenerys who is smirking like a proud dragon mama.
Jon Snow has brought his new girlfriend home to meet the family! Bran “I’m the Three Eyed Raven” Stark delivers one of his trademark vacant stares and remains totally motionless as Jon hugs him. It’s an unsatisfying family reunion, but nice to see all the surviving Stark kids together again (except for Arya, who is infuriatingly absent).
So! Queen Daenerys makes her debut in Winterfell and Sansa is NOT here for it. And just as things are getting really intense and interesting Bran interjects with “We don’t have time for this.”
Bran, we have waited two years for this show to come back. WE DEFINITELY HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
Next we find ourselves in the great hall of Winterfell. You know the place. It’s that gloomy, badly lit room in which all the grumpy Northern lords like to gather together to shout “King of the North!” at least once a season.
Everyone is mad at John for bending the knee to Daenerys. Jon tries to fix things with a heroic speech about how he gave up his crown to save the north. For a moment, it seems like maybe he has the situation under control… but for some reason Tyrion thinks this would be a great time to make a speech of his own. Tyrion is a Lannister, so literally everyone in the room hates his guts. His speech, predictably, is not well received. Come on Tyrion, read the room!
In the next scene, Tyrion and Sansa reunite – which is really awkward because remember how these two are actually married? Sansa is amazed that Tyrion is stupid enough to trust Cersei. Frankly, I have to agree with Sansa. At this point in the game, anyone who trusts Cersei has got to be bonkers.
More Family Reunions…
At long last we finally get to see Jon and Arya reunited! Brother and sister hug and compare weapons, and Jon is all “Oh you still have the little sword I gave you! How cute! Have you ever used it?” to which Arya hilariously replies “Once or twice.” Lol. John has no idea that his baby sister is a mass-murdering faceless assassin (can’t wait for that penny to drop)!
We then cross to King’s Landing where Cersei is wearing some pretty fancy metal shoulder pads and staring out to sea as a fleet of ships approaches. Euron is back and he has brought a fancy new army called The Golden Company with him. More importantly, Yara is with him. Against all the odds, Yara Greyjoy is still alive!
Euron and Cersei then go off together for some private funtimes. Fortunately this happens off screen. Then a bunch of stuff happens that doesn’t seem super crucial but I’ll quickly glaze over it… Bronn is offered a lot of money to kill Jaime and Tyrion, Cersei and Euron discuss the lack of elephants in The Golden Company and then it is strongly implied that Cersei is going to pretend that Euron is her baby daddy (as opposed to Jaime.)
Theon to the Rescue…
After killing a bunch of people with ruthless efficiency, Theon bursts into the room where Yara is held captive and frees his sister, fulfilling his vow from the end of last season and nicely progressing his redemption arc! In thanks for his efforts, Yara head butts Theon so savagely that he falls flat on his back. (He totally deserved it). Afterwards, Yara offers Theon her hand and the two stride out of the room in a very purposeful manner. The Greyjoys are back, yo! But this reunion is short lived. Sensing that her baby bro reeeeeally wants to go to Winterfell and fight ice zombies with his foster family, Yara sends Theon off with her blessing.
Meanwhile, back in Winterfell…
It’s time for Jon and Daenerys to go flying together! The two of them are having fun and falling in love while also riding dragons. It’s all very “Disney” and the only thing that could possibly improve this scene would be if Daenerys were to break into a rendition of “A Whole New World”. She is definitely giving off some Aladdin vibes, which I guess makes Jon Princess Jasmine? I’m into it.
After their magical dragon ride, Jon and Daenerys hang out at a waterfall and start making out. It’s very romantic but also bittersweet on account of the whole aunt/nephew conundrum. No matter how much you ship this couple, there’s no escaping the icky incest factor. But let’s not think about that right now. Let’s just bask in the (doomed) romance of it all!
And now for the weirdest moment of this entire episode. Literally mid kiss, Jon makes awkward eye contact with Drogon. That’s right, Jon Snow and Drogon the Dragon engage in a very odd staring contest for no apparent reason. It was a super weird moment and I have no idea what it was all about.
Next up, the warm and fuzzy reunions continue as Arya meets up with both The Hound and Gendry. The Hound calls Arya a “cold little bitch” and then walks off. It was so heart-warming, I nearly cried! Then a new ship is launched as Arya and Gendry start hardcore flirting. After seasons apart, suddenly these two have bucketloads of chemistry and I’m totally on board. Frankly, it’s nice to have a new couple to ship. And the best part is they’re not even related!
And then we come to a rather heartbreaking scene between Sam, Daenerys and Jorah. Daenerys thanks Sam for saving Jorah’s life (remember that super disgusting time when Sam cured Jorah’s greyscale by literally scraping the scabs and pus off his skin? If you had managed to forget about that, please accept my apologies for reminding you).
Things are going great until Daenerys lets slip that she murdered Sam’s father and brother by burning them to death with dragon fire last season. Sam is (quite reasonably) very upset to hear this. Struggling not to cry, he runs away and promptly bumps into Bran “I’m the Three-Eyed Raven” Stark, who announces it’s time to tell Jon the truth about his real parents. Really Bran? Does this really seem like the best time to drop that truth bomb??
Jon Finally Learns the Truth…
Sam goes down to the crypts of Winterfell where Jon is hanging out, chilling with the statue of Ned Stark. He brings Jon up to speed on his whole “Secret Targaryen” backstory. This seems like a VERY bad idea to me. Jon is now in an extremely difficult position. What is he supposed to do with this information? Whatever happens next, this is clearly the end of the budding romance between Auntie Daenerys and her beloved nephew.
And Here Comes the Violence…
And now we switch locations to discover that Tormund Giantsbane, the red haired Viking God of the Wildlings, has indeed survived the ice dragon attack from the end of last season! Tormund, Beric Dondarrion, and a crew of Night’s Watchmen stumble across the world’s most macabre piece of wall art – a collage of dismembered arms arranged in a spiral pattern, at the centre of which is pinned the corpse of a small child. Shrieking like a demonic pterodactyl, Zombie Kid lunges at Tormund, but luckily Beric uses his flaming light saber sword to stab the kid in the chest. It’s only then that I realise the Zombie Kid is little Lord Umber (RIP Ned Umber)!
This Week’s Final Reunion…
And so we arrive at the final scene of the episode. A mysterious figure rides into Winterfell and pulls back his hood to reveal… the Kingslayer, Jaime Lannister! Jaime casts his eyes across the courtyard and sees Bran “I’m the Three Eyed Raven” Stark, lurking in the distance like a total weirdo creeper.
Jaime looks appropriately horrified as he comes face to face with the boy he callously pushed out of a window way back in season one (awkward!)
Meanwhile Bran looks completely devoid of all human emotion, as per usual.
AND THAT’S A WRAP ON EPISODE 1 OF SEASON 8!
Best Dressed: I hate to say it but Cersei wins on account of her fierce metal shoulder pads.
Golden Moment: When Sansa asked “What do dragons eat anyway?” and Daenerys replied “Whatever they want.”
Best death: Poor little Lord Umber!
Predictions: Winterfell is going to fall to The Night King and everyone who survives will head to Yara’s place for a sleepover! This is clearly foreshadowed in Yara’s speech about how Daenerys might need a safe place to hide if she fails to hold the north. Winterfell is going down, you guys!!
Stay tuned for more next week!
A Game of Thrones - The Story Continues
7 Volume B Format Boxed Set with Map and Classic Artwork
George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series has set the benchmark for contemporary epic fantasy. Labelled by Time magazine as one of the top 100 most influential people in the world, Martin has conjured a world as complex and vibrant as that of J.R.R. Tolkien, populated by a huge cast of fascinating, complex characters, and boasting a history that stretches back twelve thousand years...
About the Contributor
Sarah McDuling
Sarah McDuling is Booktopia's Category Manager for Children's and Young Adult Books. She has been in the bookselling game for almost a decade and a dedicated booklover since birth (potentially longer). At her happiest when reading a book, Sarah also enjoys talking/writing/tweeting about books. In her spare time, she often likes to buy a lot of books and take photographs of books. You can follow her on Twitter and Instragram @sarahmcduling
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