- Be an active participant. Swipe away and don’t be shy.
- Put effort into your profile. No one wants to date a wet cardboard box! Show your personality with a variety of photos that provide an insight into your life. Start with a photo of just yourself (so no one has to try to work out which one you are when confronted with group shot after group shot – the days of playing ‘Where’s Wally?’ are in the past), include a full-length photo at least once and then include any other pics you think show off your hobbies and interests. No heavy filters or old photos! And don’t forget to get creative when writing your ‘About You’ section or filling in the prompts. It is a way to show who you are AND serve them up an opening line on a platter. If you know you’d rather search the world for the best eateries as opposed to travel the world traversing mountains and hiking at sunrise, then do yourself a favour and say that, because let me tell you, no one’s got time for that!
- Be honest about what you’re looking for. Don’t say you are looking for a one-night stand if you are looking for a relationship. The truth will come out sooner or later anyway. And just tell someone if you are no longer into them after one date or a few. Do not ghost them – we all know how shitty that feels.
- Make the first move when possible. Grab the bull by the horns and start the conversation! No one wants to waste time – plus, there is nothing worse than waiting around to see if someone is going to write to you.
- Say something – anything – more than ‘Hey’ to start a conversation. For me, that’s an almost immediate turn-off and, honestly, it’s lazy. Especially if you have put effort into your profile with great photos and conversation-starters – which you should have, because I literally just told you to, so you would expect more than just a ‘Hey’, am I right?! So go the extra mile and reference something in their bio so they know you have actually read it. Personalise it and make it really unique, which will help get their attention, too.
- Use their name the first time you write to them and comment on something they have posted about. This helps them to feel seen and separates you from the rest of the pack. I always notice when someone uses my name. Otherwise, who knows whether it’s the old ‘copy, paste and send out to the masses’ trick?
- Try to move the conversation to a call, video chat or in-person meeting after a few days of talking (three is my rule of thumb). Most apps now have a video-call feature so you don’t need to give your number out if you don’t want to. Too much time can be wasted texting without ever really getting a true feel for who someone is or what the chemistry is actually like. I was caught out with this one too many times!
- Don’t jump straight to a dinner date for the first date, especially if you have any hesitations. Organise a walk, or a drink, or even a lunch date, which I feel generally end up being more casual and relaxed than dinner dates are. I think a drink is a great go-to because if it’s going well you can throw it out that you could find dinner somewhere and continue the date, but if you’re not feeling it you don’t have to be stuck there through a three-course meal.
We Love Love by Laura Byrne and Brittany Hockley (Penguin Random House Australia) is out on the 5th of October.
Order any title featured in Booktoberfest for your chance to win a year’s worth of books. *Ts & Cs apply.
We Love Love
An Unfiltered A to Z of Modern Romance and Self-Love, from the creators of the Life Uncut podcast
Raw and unfiltered, we present to you our ultimate and alphabetical guide to life, love and self!' - Laura and Britt, creators of the hit podcast Life Uncut
True love. Crushing failure. Hot dates. Wild ambition. Motherhood. Sisterhood.
Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne, former Bachelor finalists and hosts of the number-one podcast Life Uncut, have bumbled their way through it all. And they're here to make you feel a little less alone in the chaos.
Through interviewing the experts, dispensing advice and tackling questions about love and life - both big and small - on Life Uncut, Laura and Britt have created a community of open-hearted and supportive women. Now they've distilled their most trusted and true advice into a book that's as much about romance as it is about loving ourselves. WE LOVE LOVE is an encyclopaedia of life as Britt and Laura have lived it, full of hard-won wisdom, hilarious anecdotes, serious challenges and refreshing honesty.
From attachment styles to ghosting, pregnancy loss to impostor syndrome, long-distance relationships to sexual kinks, and with some unfiltered stories from listeners thrown in along the way, Laura and Britt give their take on pretty much everything from, well, A to Z with their signature wit and authenticity.
Life can be a hot mess at times, but with friends like these, you'll never be short of love.
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