A Hard Silence : One daughter remaps family, grief, and faith when HIV/AIDS changes it all - Melanie Brooks

A Hard Silence

One daughter remaps family, grief, and faith when HIV/AIDS changes it all

By: Melanie Brooks

Paperback | 12 September 2023

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"A profound and riveting journey through shame and grief, A Hard Silence is, quite simply, unforgettable." Monica Wood, author of When We Were the Kennedys

In the mid 1980s, Canada's worst public health disaster was unfolding. Catastrophic mismanagement of the country's blood supply allowed contaminated blood to be knowingly distributed nationwide, infecting close to two thousand Canadians with HIV. Among them was Melanie Brooks's surgeon father who, after receiving a blood transfusion during open-heart surgery in 1985, learned he was HIV positive.

At a time when HIV/AIDS was widely misunderstood and public perception was shaped by fear, prejudice, and homophobia, victims of the disease faced ostracism and persecution. Afraid of this stigma and wanting to protect his family, Melanie's father decided his illness would be a secret. A secret they'd all have to keep. They did not know that her father would live past that first year, but he did. And for ten years before his death in 1995, from the time she was thirteen until she was twenty-three, Melanie's family lived in the shadow of AIDS. She carried the weight of the uncertain trajectory of her father's health and the heartbreaking anticipation of impending loss silently and alone. It became a way of life. 

A Hard Silence is an intimate glimpse into Melanie's memories of coping with the tragedy of her father's illness and enduring the loneliness and isolation of not being able to speak. With candor and vulnerability, Melanie opens her grief wounds and brings her reader inside her journey, twenty years after her father died, to finally understand the consequences of her family's silence, to interrogate the roots of stigma and discrimination responsible for the ongoing secret-keeping, and to show how she's now learned to be authentic.

Industry Reviews

"A book with a universal message of love, and the courage every single one of us needs to navigate our way to personal, familial, and communal healing." Michael Patrick MacDonald, author of All Souls: A Family Story from Southie

"Those of us whose family members were contaminated by HIV/AIDS around the same time shared her feelings, the agony of family secrecy and the fear of stigmatization." Vic Parsons, author of Bad Blood: The Unspeakable Truth

"Brooks is that rare writer who can delve as deeply into the world of ideas as she can the pitted terrain of the human heart." Andre Dubus III, author of Townie

"Fills me with a sense of urgency, gratitude, and awe." Abigail Thomas, author of Still Life: The Next Interesting Thing

"This beautifully rendered memoir asks important questions about the complexities of loss and grief, the roots of stigma and shame, and the courage necessary to endure that resonate in this new and unfortunate age of social exclusion." Richard Blanco, author of The Prince of los Cocuyos: A Miami Childhood

"Movingly depicts the long toll of stigma and the healing power of words." Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, author of The Fact of a Body: A Murder & A Memoir

"A profound and riveting journey through shame and grief, A Hard Silence is, quite simply, unforgettable." Monica Wood, author of When We Were the Kennedys

"In this important and profound narrative, Brooks chronicles what gets us all through times of grief: love, empathy, even vulnerability. And, most importantly, nurturing a sense of wholeness, even as it slips from us." Sue William Silverman, author of How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences 

"In this gripping, lovingly recounted memoir... Brooks shows us ... that often it's in the re-telling that we can finally put our grief down and be freed." Susan Conley, author of Landslide

"Promises a new resource for the growing field of narrative medicine by recounting the physical and spiritual dimensions of medical crisis in first person." Kim Stafford, author of Singer Come from Afar 

"Illuminates not only a historical page, but an existential one." Baron Wormser, author of The Road Washes Out in Spring: A Poet's Memoir of Living Off the Grid

"This book is a gift." Timothy J. Hillegonds, author of The Distance Between

"Tender and thought-provoking ... gives each of us permission to speak about the ache of deepest grief." Jessica Handler, author of Invisible Sisters

"Brooks writes with both daring and restraint about learning the language of loss and breaking the silence she grew up in during the 1980s and 1990s HIV/AIDS crisis." Kyoko Mori, author of Yarn: Remembering the Way Home

"Brooks takes us to fresh air found past that suffocating veil. Exquisitely written with big bravery and big heart." Suzanne Strempek Shea, author of Songs from a Lead-Lined Room

"An indelible portrait of love and loss in this brave exploration of the grief that was her constant companion after the death of her beloved father from AIDS." Marianne Leone, author of Jesse: A Mother's Story and Ma Speaks Up

"Superb, heartfelt memoir... I could not put it down." Jerald Walker, author of Street Shadows

"Stands as an indictment of attitudes that add shame to suffering, that make struggling families hide, consigning their stories to silence. With artistry and courage, Brooks has turned that silence into this restorative, revelatory, and beautiful book." Richard Hoffman author of Half the House

"A testament to the complex truth that our entitlement to grief is about so much more than loss and pain." Jaed Coffin, author of Roughhouse Friday

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