
Groomed
A memoir about abuse, the search for justice and how we fail to keep our children safe
By: Sonia Orchard
Paperback | 28 January 2025
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'The first thing I need to know,' I said to the detective, 'is has a crime been committed?'
Sonia Orchard was in her forties when she told a therapist about the boyfriend she had when she was fifteen. Sure, he had been a decade older than her, but it was consensual ... wasn't it? To her surprise, Sonia broke down in tears, then began to shake uncontrollably - an unmistakable expression of trauma that lasted for days. She was clearly not okay, but could the relationship she'd thought was loving really have been abuse? Had she been groomed?
Years later, her own daughters now teenagers and the March4Justice changing the conversation about sexual assault, Sonia tentatively called the police. As she began the gruelling journey through the legal system, she saw how allegations of child abuse and sexual assault were routinely minimised, justified and rarely brought to light. Facing her own court case, she couldn't shake bigger questions: how had we allowed this to happen, and what would it take to fix it?
In Groomed, Orchard shifts between memoir and research in an attempt to answer these questions. She delves into culture, neuroscience and evolution, unpicking the enduring narratives that fuel these issues. As she navigates her way through a legal system stacked against victims of sexual assault, the obstacles to justice become clearer and more confronting than ever.
About the Author
Sonia Orchard is the author of Something More Wonderful, The Virtuoso and Into the Fire.
Sonia Orchard was in her forties when she told a therapist about the boyfriend she had when she was fifteen. Sure, he had been a decade older than her, but it was consensual ... wasn't it? To her surprise, Sonia broke down in tears, then began to shake uncontrollably - an unmistakable expression of trauma that lasted for days. She was clearly not okay, but could the relationship she'd thought was loving really have been abuse? Had she been groomed?
Years later, her own daughters now teenagers and the March4Justice changing the conversation about sexual assault, Sonia tentatively called the police. As she began the gruelling journey through the legal system, she saw how allegations of child abuse and sexual assault were routinely minimised, justified and rarely brought to light. Facing her own court case, she couldn't shake bigger questions: how had we allowed this to happen, and what would it take to fix it?
In Groomed, Orchard shifts between memoir and research in an attempt to answer these questions. She delves into culture, neuroscience and evolution, unpicking the enduring narratives that fuel these issues. As she navigates her way through a legal system stacked against victims of sexual assault, the obstacles to justice become clearer and more confronting than ever.
About the Author
Sonia Orchard is the author of Something More Wonderful, The Virtuoso and Into the Fire.
Industry Reviews
'Groomed is THE book for our times, revealing trauma that is as systemic, cultural and political as it is granular, psychological and personal. I read this book in a hot, lumpy stew of anger, admiration and empathy. A fierce, frank and fearless defence of the rights of every fifteen-year-old girl who deserved better. I hope that a hell of a lot of men read Groomed and panic that their time is finally up.' - Clare Wright, author, historian and broadcaster
'In this brave and unflinchingly honest work of non-fiction, Sonia Orchard unravels the layers of her own life ... Orchard's prose challenges readers to confront the enduring pain, shame and social consequences faced by survivors of sexual crimes.' - Ginger Gorman, journalist and author
'Groomed is a powerful exploration of a subject we are not talking about enough: the sexual abuse of children. Approaching these heavy themes with vulnerability, Sonia Orchard's writing is impactful and enduring.' - Hannah Ferguson, author and co-founder of Cheek Media Co.
'More than a compelling page-turner, this book is essential reading for all, interweaving Sonia's personal experiences with accessible, well-researched insights into trauma, child sexual abuse, grooming and the deep-seated cultural factors that allow these abhorrent crimes to persist.' - Vanessa Hamilton, sexuality educator and author of Talking Sex: A Conversation Guide for Parents
'Sonia Orchard has a rare gift. In this brilliant, original and groundbreaking book, she explores what it means to be groomed, and why justice is so difficult to obtain. This is a timely, powerful and important read that will help many others make sense of the senseless.' - Nina Funnell, journalist and sexual assault survivor advocate
'This book draws you along with Sonia as she is sucked down into the black hole of our criminal justice system's response to rape survivors, and leaves you gasping with her at the injustice that the system's inversion of perpetrator and victim routinely inflicts.' - Michael Bradley, lawyer and author of System Failure: The Silencing of Rape Survivors
'In this brave and unflinchingly honest work of non-fiction, Sonia Orchard unravels the layers of her own life ... Orchard's prose challenges readers to confront the enduring pain, shame and social consequences faced by survivors of sexual crimes.' - Ginger Gorman, journalist and author
'Groomed is a powerful exploration of a subject we are not talking about enough: the sexual abuse of children. Approaching these heavy themes with vulnerability, Sonia Orchard's writing is impactful and enduring.' - Hannah Ferguson, author and co-founder of Cheek Media Co.
'More than a compelling page-turner, this book is essential reading for all, interweaving Sonia's personal experiences with accessible, well-researched insights into trauma, child sexual abuse, grooming and the deep-seated cultural factors that allow these abhorrent crimes to persist.' - Vanessa Hamilton, sexuality educator and author of Talking Sex: A Conversation Guide for Parents
'Sonia Orchard has a rare gift. In this brilliant, original and groundbreaking book, she explores what it means to be groomed, and why justice is so difficult to obtain. This is a timely, powerful and important read that will help many others make sense of the senseless.' - Nina Funnell, journalist and sexual assault survivor advocate
'This book draws you along with Sonia as she is sucked down into the black hole of our criminal justice system's response to rape survivors, and leaves you gasping with her at the injustice that the system's inversion of perpetrator and victim routinely inflicts.' - Michael Bradley, lawyer and author of System Failure: The Silencing of Rape Survivors
ISBN: 9781922863829
ISBN-10: 1922863823
Published: 28th January 2025
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Publisher: Affirm Press
Dimensions (cm): 23.4 x 15.3
Weight (kg): 0.45
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