Old Age and How to Milk It

From getting a seat on the bus to forgetting what you were worrying about, there are countless reasons to be grateful for being an old git. Old Age is the new Golden Age, truly the time of our lives - or it ought to be

We should be glad to be gray Geoff Tibballs issues a clarion call to wrinkly boomers to celebrate the numerous advantages to old age, from the joy of socks to the rush you get from standing up too quickly, easily the equivalent of the thrills your children and grandchildren get from street drugs. Old Age is the new Golden Age, truly the time of our lives - or it ought to be Covering family, relationships, food and drink and other aspects of life, Geoff is here to tell us why.

• You're very unlikely ever to be asked to solve a simultaneous equation, or how to get on to Netflix.
• A ride in a lift or a walk around a shopping centre becomes an opportunity to hear all your favourite music, and you get all the excitement you need in a day from successfully completing Wordle.
• Your friends won't be blabbing your secrets all over town because they can't remember them either.
• You can multitask more effectively than ever - coughing, farting, sneezing and peeing all at the same time.
• Nobody expects you to run into a burning building. You're allowed - no, expected - to be pedantic. Also, grumpy as hell.
• Absolutely nobody will be able to force you to eat cabbage, or anything else for that matter.
• You can proudly say you've never listened to anything by Ed Sheeran or Billie Eilish and people won't be surprised when you think that Dua Lipa is a lip balm. And who the hell is Tate McRae?