TABLE OF CONTENTS
Exercises xv
C h apt e r 1
The Importance of Interpersonal Skills 1
The Power of Interpersonal Skills 2
The Relationship Imperative 2
Why Improve Your Interpersonal Skills 6
Interpersonal Skills and Relationships 13
Difficulties in Forming Relationships 19
What’s in This Book 24
The Application of Social Science Research to Interpersonal Skills 26
Learning Interpersonal Skills 29
Accepting the Invitation 32
Comprehension Test A 32
Comprehension Test B 33
Summary 38
Answers 39
C h apt e r 2
Appropriate Self-Disclosure: Getting to Know Each Other 40
Introduction 41
Being Open with and to Other People 47
Self-Disclosure and Self-Awareness 53
Self-Awareness Through Feedback from Others 59
Self-Disclosure and Self-Acceptance 63
Self-Disclosure and Self-Presentation 65
Comprehension Test A 90
Comprehension Test B 91
Summary 93
Answers 95
C h apt e r 3
Developing and Maintaining Trust 96
Introduction 97
Developing and Maintaining Trust 98
Building Interpersonal Trust 100
Being Trusting and Trustworthy 101
Trust and Communication 102
Destroying Trust 103
Reestablishing Trust After It Has Been Broken 104
Trusting Appropriately 104
Trusting as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy 106
Personal Proclivity to Trust 106
Trust in Friendships 106
Comprehension Test 106
Chapter Review 123
Summary 125
Answers 125
C h apt e r 4
Increasing Your Communication Skills 126
Introduction 127
What Is Communication? 127
Effective Communication versus Misunderstandings 131
Comprehension Test A 134
Sending Messages Effectively 136
Comprehension Test B 138
Comprehension Test C 151
Improving Your Receiving Skills 152
Theory on Listening and Responding 155
Comprehension Test D 157
Theory on Selective Perception in Listening and Responding 159
Comprehension Test E 160
Comprehension Test F 161
Toward Improved Communication Skills 164
Communicating Online 164
Chapter Review 167
Summary 169
Answers 170
C h apt e r 5
Expressing Your Feelings Verbally 171
The Power of Feeling 172
Saying What You Feel 172
What’s Going on Inside? 174
Comprehension Test A 179
When Feelings Are Not Expressed 180
Comprehension Test B 181
Expressing Your Feelings Verbally 182
Comprehension Test C 184
Checking Your Perception of Another’s Feelings 191
Chapter Review 193
Summary 194
Answers 195
C h apt e r 6
Expressing Your Feelings
Nonverbally 196
Introduction 197
Nonverbal Communication 198
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 198
The Importance of Congruence Between Verbal and Nonverbal Messages 201
Status and Power in Nonverbal Expressions 202
Chapter Review 215
Summary 216
Answers 216
C h apt e r 7
Helpful Listening and Responding 217
Responding to Another Person’s Problems 218
Intentions Underlying the Responses 226
Comprehension Test A 234
Helping People Solve Their Problems 235
Listening and Responding Alternatives 236
Comprehension Test B 238
Phrasing an Accurate Understanding Response 238
Chapter Review 249
Summary 250
Answers 251
C h apt e r 8
Resolving Interpersonal Conflict 252
Inevitability of Conflicts 253
Understanding Conflicts of Interest 253
Mastering the Conflict Strategies 258
Comprehension Test 263
Negotiating to Solve the Problem 264
Try, Try Again 271
Refusal Skills: This Issue Is Not Negotiable 271
Conflicts Online 271
Chapter Review 284
Summary 286
Answers 286
C h apt e r 9
Anger, Stress, and Managing Feelings 287
The Nature of Stress 288
Managing Stress Through Social Support Systems 289
The Nature and Value of Anger 290
Comprehension Test 295
Rules for Managing Anger Constructively 295
Eliminating Unwanted Feelings from Your Life 309
Forgiveness 319
How to Deal with an Angry Person 321
Anger and Negotiations 324
Chapter Review 326
Summary 327
Answers 327
C h apt e r 10
Barriers to Interpersonal Effectiveness 328
Introduction 329
Managing Fear and Anxiety 329
Managing Shyness 336
Mistakes and Self-Talk 342
Managing Failure 344
Reducing Stereotyping and Prejudice 344
Overcoming the Barriers: Being Optimistic 350
Review Test 351
Summary 352
Answers 352
C h apt e r 11
Epilogue 353
Importance of Interpersonal Skills 354
Interpersonal Effectiveness, Self-Actualization, and Interpersonal
Skills 357
Looking Forward 362
Summary of Interpersonal Skills 364
Appendix 369
Glossary 373
References 380
Index 383
