Ten Ways to Find Love ... and How to Keep It - Lisa Portolan

Ten Ways to Find Love ... and How to Keep It

By: Lisa Portolan

Paperback | 4 February 2025

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A guide to romance in the digital world.

Everyone is looking for love, at least at certain pivotal moments in our lives. But the search for love in the 21st century is fraught with obstacles (not least among them pandemics), uncertainties (does romantic love really exist, and if it does, are we worthy of it?) and contradictions (the popularity of dating apps versus our cynicism about them).

Although modern society and media have sold us the fairytale of that one big, romantic love, most people don't think it can be discovered on dating apps. Sure, you can find a hook-up, but that person needs to be announced by some special, face-to-face, meet-cute experience.

Complicating the issue is our consumer culture's fixation on the disposable and the new. When it comes to finding love, many of us become stuck in a cycle of looking for the next, even better relationship. Ironically, while we're on this quest for romantic novelty, we may also be craving long-term partnerships, feeling like failures if we don't achieve them.

How can we reconcile these conflicting desires?

A media commentator, podcaster and academic, with a PhD in dating apps and intimacy, Dr Lisa Portolan has conducted hundreds of interviews over many years on the question of what love looks like in the digital age. Drawing on her findings, she presents strategies to help you navigate the complexities of real-world relationships in order to achieve - and maintain - a successful, committed partnership. Case studies are woven throughout, representing all aspects of the seeking, finding and keeping of love.

And what is the most profound lesson to be drawn from this incisive, compassionate, often humorous handbook? Ultimately, the pursuit of love is not just about finding a soulmate - it's about becoming a better version of ourselves in the process.

About the Author

Dr Lisa Portolan is an academic and researcher from Sydney. She has published several books, including Love, Intimacy and Online Dating: How a global pandemic redefined intimacy, and is a regular guest on Australian television programs and radio. Dr Portolan has two children, a long-suffering dog Juno, and a long-suffering partner Gino.

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