America's New "At-Risk" Child | |
The Paradox of Privilege | p. 3 |
Why Kids Who Have So Much Can Feel Empty | p. 8 |
Why We Can't Afford to Trivialize the Problems of Privileged Kids | p. 12 |
The Not-So-Hidden Mental Health Epidemic Among Privileged Youth | p. 16 |
The Magnitude of the Problem | p. 18 |
Don't Kids "Grow Out Of" Adolescent Angst? | p. 24 |
Don't Kids from Affluent Families Get All the Help They Need? | p. 26 |
The Toxic Brew of Pressure and Isolation | p. 28 |
Achievement Pressure | p. 28 |
Isolation from Parents | p. 30 |
Why Parents' Good Intentions Are Not Enough | p. 33 |
Why Money Doesn't Buy Mental Health | p. 37 |
Money Doesn't Make Us Happier | p. 38 |
Allison: How Affluence Can Get in the Way of Emotional Development | p. 41 |
Materialism: The Dark Side of Affluence | p. 45 |
The False Promises of Materialism | p. 49 |
Why "Retail Therapy" Is an Oxymoron | p. 50 |
Materialism and Unhealthy Competition | p. 52 |
Happiness Is an Inside Job | p. 53 |
How the Culture of Affluence Works Against the Development of the Self | |
What Is a Healthy "Self"? | p. 63 |
Kids With Healthy Selves Are Ready and Able to "Own" Their Lives | p. 70 |
Kids With Healthy Selves Can Control Their Impulses: "I'm the Boss of Me" | p. 75 |
Kids With Healthy Selves Can Be Generous and Loving | p. 81 |
Kids With Healthy Selves Are Good Architects of Their Internal "Homes" | p. 86 |
Tyler's Story: Whose Life Is It Anyway? | p. 88 |
Knowing What Really Matters and What Doesn't | p. 93 |
Different Ages, Different Parenting Strategies | p. 95 |
The Magic Years-Ages 2 to 4 | p. 99 |
Masters of the Universe-Ages 5 to 7 | p. 104 |
How Am I Doing?-Ages 8 to 11 | p. 108 |
What Happened to My Kid?-Ages 12 to 14 | p. 113 |
Working on the "Real Me"-Ages 15 to 17 | p. 120 |
Parenting for Autonomy | |
How We Connect Makes All the Difference | p. 127 |
Know Your Parenting Style | p. 129 |
Do As You're Told: The Authoritarian Parent | p. 129 |
Do Your Own Thing: The Permissive Parent | p. 130 |
We Can Work It Out: The Authoritative Parent | p. 131 |
Cultivate Warmth to Protect Emotional Development | p. 132 |
Good Warmth: Acceptance, Understanding, and Investment | p. 133 |
Bad Warmth: Overinvolvement, Intrusion, and Parental Neediness | p. 136 |
Understanding Why Praise Is Often "Bad" Warmth | p. 141 |
Avoid the Damage Inflicted by Criticism and Rejection | p. 146 |
Discipline and Control: The Tough Job of Being the "Bad Cop" | p. 153 |
Firmness: Being Clear About Your Authority | p. 154 |
Monitoring: "Do You Know Where Your Children Are?" | p. 156 |
Containment: Letting Your Kids Know When You Mean Business | p. 158 |
Flexibility: Knowing When to Skip the Showdown | p. 159 |
It's Easier When We Start Early (But It's Never Too Late!) | p. 161 |
The Difference Between Being "In Control" and Being "Controlling" | p. 162 |
Why You Have to Stand on Your Own Two Feet Before Your Children Can Stand on Theirs | |
Challenges to Effective Parenting in the Culture of Affluence | p. 169 |
Bucking the Tide: If Everyone Is Doing It, That Doesn't Make It Right | p. 172 |
Holding Ourselves Accountable | p. 174 |
The Poison of Perfectionism | p. 178 |
Overcoming Myopia About the "Good Life" | p. 182 |
Handling the Isolation That Makes Us Vulnerable to Being Bullied | p. 186 |
The Threat of Divorce and the Potential Loss of "Wifestyle" | p. 191 |
Samantha's Story: Dancing in the Dark | p. 194 |
Having Everything Except What We Need Most: The Isolation of Affluent Moms | p. 200 |
Acknowledging How Very Hard Our Job Is | p. 202 |
Taking Our Problems Seriously | p. 205 |
The Fear of Vulnerability | p. 207 |
The Risks of Staying Unhappy | p. 210 |
Tend and Befriend: The Critical Importance of Friendships | p. 212 |
The Distraction of the Work Debate | p. 215 |
Choosing What We Can Live With | p. 218 |
Acknowledgments | p. 225 |
Notes | p. 228 |
Index | p. 237 |
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