The Unlocking : An Autism Story - Porscia Lam

The Unlocking

An Autism Story

By: Porscia Lam

Paperback | 25 February 2025

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The Unlocking unfolds in pandemic-stricken Melbourne, charting one family's desperate battle against the escalating behaviour of their autistic toddler. Amid the lack of in-person services, Harry exhibits severely restricted eating, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, crippling separation anxiety, and a demand avoidance that impedes every function in his young life. Harry meets the description of Pathological Demand Avoidance, a sub-type of autism that is not yet recognised in Australia, where an individual exhibits an anxiety-based need for control by avoiding the ordinary demands of living.

During a break between lockdowns, and with much trepidation, the family embark upon a journey with applied behaviour analysis (ABA) therapy. ABA is an intensive therapy considered the gold standard in early intervention for autism, but with a controversial past. The outcome is life-changing. Beneath the veil of dysfunction and anxiety, they discover an outrageously creative, highly intelligent, and hilarious little boy.

The Unlocking is an atypical memoir spanning five epic years-agonising and wretched, hilarious and triumphant, offering solace and hope to others while shining a spotlight on a little-known profile of autism. It is an ableist's humbling lesson on disability.


Industry Reviews

'The Unlocking is a beautiful love story from a mother to her children. It reads like a diary entry; she hopes they find it one day, which will confirm for them how much she loved them and the lengths she would go to advocate for and make the world better for both of them. It might read like a story about a boy with autism, but it is, in fact, a story about how two parents moved heaven and earth to make both their children's futures bright. It's about an amazing team of clinicians and teachers who would not let Harry's potential be unrealised.

Porscia Lam's memoir serves as a roadmap for new parents feeling overwhelmed and uncertain after their child is diagnosed with autism. It's one family's story of persistence, patience and love. After reading this book, we are all on Team Harry!' -Nicole Rogerson, CEO and founder of Autism Awareness Australia


'I found Porscia Lam's story, and her storytelling to be absolutely captivating. This book is a must-read for any parent, providing valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs that the parenting journey can throw your way.

As someone who also decided to open up to the world about his struggles, I commend Porscia for her vulnerability, honesty and self-deprecation. This raw and unfiltered account of Porscia's journey will help to normalise the struggles that so many of us deal with in our daily lives.' -Andy McCarthy, author of Here Comes the Sun (Affirm Press)


'Autism can take a brutal toll on children and their families. This is a brave and honest story of persistence, resilience, and the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I have no idea how Porscia Lam found the time and energy to write this book, but I am so very glad she did. I couldn't put it down.' -Dr Sally Munday, paediatrician


'Porscia Lam's memoir, The Unlocking, is a shot of empathy straight to the heart. It's a raw, honest, and incredibly brave account of one family's journey toward an autism diagnosis for their eldest child, Harry. Set against the backdrop of Melbourne's unprecedented COVID-19 lockdowns, with Harry's behaviour escalating to self-sabotaging levels, the family teeters on the edge of breaking point. This tender, masterfully written narrative kept me turning pages deep into the night, offering a profound glimpse into the unimaginable hardships that some parents face. The Unlocking is a must-read for any parent, and anyone wishing to position themselves as an ally.' -Anne Freeman, award-winning fiction author


'A clever and honest retelling, written with humour, joy and sadness, Porscia Lam's memoir, The Unlocking, vividly describes in detail her experience of having an autistic child, the all-consuming nature of a comprehensive ABA program and the difference it made for her son and whole family. ABA is sometimes considered a controversial support for autistic people however, Lam describes how it should look and how it can be compassionate, contextual and tailored to meet the needs of the individual and their family.' -Tineke Sibbel M.Ed, BCBA, CBA


'Porscia Lam's memoir, The Unlocking: An Autism Story, is a raw and honest depiction of a mother's journey through Covid lockdowns while learning about her son's autism diagnosis. Filled with love, vulnerability and wit, Lam delivers some hard truths about not only coming to terms with what life throws at you, but learning to love and be grateful for it.

It is the type of story that grips you, shocks you, and compels you to keep turning the pages. This is essential reading for every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, carer, or anyone who has ever interacted with young children. I couldn't put it down!' -Camille Booker, author and literary judge

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