Lynn watched her beloved Clare, newly adopted from Haiti, crawl the house in a frantic search for her lost mother. Preschool Clare enchanted with belly laughs and shining smiles. Also, thrashed and wailed in her room as Lynn crouched on her own bed--pillow clutched over her head--her past trauma triggered. A pre-teen trip to Haiti brought sunshine, ruby red hibiscus blooms, and the music of Haitian Creole. Back at home, Clare shattered mirrors into shards on the subway tiles of their bathroom. And just before her thirteenth birthday, as she and Lynn walked hand in hand through their neighborhood, Clare calmly detailed her plan to die.
Over the next years, Lynn and her family walked through psychiatric hospitals, along the Appalachian Trail, and in and out of residential placements, marriage, faith, and sanity barely surviving the journey. But then Lynn learned about fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD)--a source of neurodivergence in one in twenty American children--and discovered the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model, a strengths-based approach to celebrating and accommodating neurodiversity. It was a discovery that transformed them all.
At times joyous, at times harrowing, but always full of love, Tinderbox is a mother's story of brokenness, unrelenting resilience, and hope.
Industry Reviews
". . . a powerful testament to the strength of faith and belief and the crucial role of support from loved ones. Lynn Alsup's Tinderbox provides valuable insights into cross-cultural adoption for parents considering this path. . . recommended for anyone interested in adoption, parenting, or seeking inspiration in the face of adversity. This narrative is a powerful reminder that anything is possible with courage, resilience, and love."
-Readers' Favorite, Five Star Review
“What emerges from the experience of reading Tinderbox is the vital importance of community, and the power of understanding as the foundation for acceptance and uncluttered love. I was struck by the depth of Lynn’s courage and candor—showing how theory may be translated into life.”
—Diane V. Malbin, MSW, author of Trying Differently Rather Than Harder and founder of FASCETS, Inc.
“Tinderbox is the book I wish had been available three decades ago when I was contemplating adopting mixed-race children damaged by early trauma, radiant with resilience, requiring every ounce of resourcefulness I could gather. Reading Lynn and Jeff's story renewed my hope in the power of love to transform our deepest wounds, leading us into territories we might never have dared enter if we had known better!”
—Mirabai Starr, author of Caravan of No Despair and Wild Mercy
“Tinderbox is a sacred gift: honest, vulnerable, humble, and hopeful. Whether your journey has included similar experiences to Lynn and her family or not, Tinderbox is a timely reminder of our shared humanity and our need to care for one another through both the challenges and celebrations of life. Lynn’s writing is compelling, authentic and inviting—I couldn’t put it down once I started. I highly recommend that you create space for this book to become a part of your journey; you will be inspired, challenged, informed, and uplifted.”
—Rev. Sharon Seyfarth Garner, United Methodist pastor, spiritual director, author, and founder of Belly of the Whale Spiritual Direction & Retreat
“I LOVED this book! It’s a story that desperately needs to be heard. Lynn brilliantly captures two decades of her adoption journey. . . . With openness and grace, she shares her spiritual journey and hard-won wisdom. I recommend this book to families and mental health professionals struggling with children’s extreme behaviors.”
—Julia D. Rivera, Esquire, board director of Learning Disabilities Association and cofounder of North TX FASD Network
“Tinderbox? No kidding. Lynn Alsup has gone through the fire of raising three adoptive kids in a multiracial family in middle America—and lived to tell about it. In this firecracker of a book, Alsup shares how she and her family have risen to challenges including neurodiversity, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, and loss of faith—and thrived in spite of it all. This should be required reading for any parents facing similar challenges—or maybe for all parents!”
—Sean W. Murphy, National Endowment for the Arts Fellow and author of The Time of New Weather
“Lynn Alsup is a gifted teacher and writer. She converts parenting challenges into soul wisdom and love, for herself and her girls. In Tinderbox she shares an inspiring story of family resiliency and equips the reader (through vital encouragement and resourcing) to surrender any illusion of how family life is ‘supposed’ to go and instead open to the breathtaking beauty of each child or family’s unique path to wholeness.”
—Courtney Pinkerton, MDiv, MPP, certified coach, Enneagram mentor, and author of The Flourish Formula: An Overachiever's Guide to Slowing Down
