We hear plenty about whether or not to get married, but much less about what it takes to stay married. Clich s around marriage--eternal bliss, domestic harmony, soul mates--leave out the real stuff. After marriage you may still want to sleep with other people. Sometimes your partner will bore the hell out of you. And when stuck paying for your spouse's mistakes, you might miss being single.
In Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, Ada Calhoun presents an unflinching but also loving portrait of her own marriage, opening a long-overdue conversation about the institution as it truly is: not the happy ending of a love story or a relic doomed by high divorce rates, but the beginning of a challenging new chapter of which "the first twenty years are the hardest."
Calhoun's funny, poignant personal essays explore the bedrooms of modern coupledom for a nuanced discussion of infidelity, existential anxiety, and the many other obstacles to staying together. Both realistic and openhearted, Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give offers a refreshing new way to think about marriage as a brave, tough, creative decision to stay with another person for the rest of your life. "What a burden," Calhoun calls marriage, "and what a gift."
Industry Reviews
"... short, sharp and sensitive volume... Her [Ada Calhoun's] witty, enthusiastic, cautionary, emotional and hard-headed reflections ought to be required reading for anyone entering, experiencing, leaving or avoiding marriage." -- The Guardian
"Calhoun is at her strongest when she probes into the unrealistic expectations people hold about the institution..." -- Times Literary Supplement
"This is a fascinating meditation on monogamy, and when we focus so much on beginnings and endings when we talk about relationships, it's refreshing to read a book that focuses on what many of us are familiar with - just trying to make it work." -- Daisy Buchanan - The Pool
"Hopeful, sensible and grounded in reality, it serves as guidance to those in long-term relationships and those embarking on them." -- Sunday Post
"Whatever your status or views on the institution, Ada's book offers invaluable insight into marriage: the good parts, the bad parts, and the ugly parts." -- Refinery29
"... a funny and poignant marriage myth-buster, peppered with insights from religious leaders, friends and long-married matriarchs." -- The Telegraph