When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever
As a society, we've forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively - even to those we love most. We've become scared of other people's points of view, and of silence.
Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.
Listening is about curiosity and patience - about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.
When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.
About the Author
Kate Murphy has extensive experience in animation, voice over and voice direction, voicing feature films, television series and web series with over 50 million views. Since earning her Bachelor of Theatre Arts (Acting) from USQ, Kate has voiced characters for the iconic Sesame Street, and was lead voice actor portraying more than 20 characters in the globally popular web-series Shopkins, before voicing three Shopkins feature films, Chef Club (2016), World Vacation (2017) and Wild (2018).
Kate has also voiced characters for National Geographic’s You’re Called What (2018), feature film, The Wishmas Tree (2020), ABC’s The Strange Chores (late 2019) and web series Crafty Kingdom. She was also Voice Director for 52 episodes of Space Chickens in Space (Nine Network). Kate has a unique and varied skillset, from earning a scholarship to study improvisation and sketch comedy writing at world renowned The Second City in Chicago to training and performing with Butoh icons Dairakudakan in Hakuba, Japan.
Onstage, Kate has performed in numerous productions, including SMACK (2017), A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2011), Oh the Humanity (2013) and Life Etc. (2012), as well as on tour with the Queensland Arts Council (2009).She has also taught and directed many productions at the University of Southern Queensland, including The Winter’s Tale and Much Ado About Nothing as part of the Shakespeare in the Park Festival, along with The Cherry Orchard and Girls Like That.
Industry Reviews
The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound... Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us - entertainingly and compellingly - exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear.
Viv Groskop * Observer *
Gripping from start to finish... brilliant...extraordinarily interesting...full of meat and gold.
Chris Evans * Virgin Radio Breakfast Show *
Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy's book is intelligent and thought-provoking... Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are...a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that.
Melanie Reid * The Times *
It's time for a spot of re-education... A fascinating guide to something we assume we do automatically, yet for the most part do very badly... The art of listening is really the art of being human.
Stephen Moss * Guardian *
We are losing this most crucial, arguably, of our skills in the modern world... I'll be adopting Murphy's advice... and I will be employing "support" responses everywhere.
Charlotte Edwardes * Sunday Times Style Magazine *